I just listened to the newest episode of Adam Grant’s podcast ReThinking, on which Grant interviews the great writer Anne Lamott. Midway through the episode, they are discussing the practice of helping others, and Grant mentions the psychological concept of “dependency-oriented” help versus “autonomy-oriented” help.
I had never heard of this distinction before, so I did a small dive and found the following nutshell explanations of the two:
“The negative feelings that we experience when receiving help are likely to be particularly strong when the recipient feels that the implication of the helping is that they are unable to care for themselves. In these cases the help is perceived as being dependency oriented (Nadler et al., 1983). When the helper takes control of the situation and solves the problem facing the individual, leaving little left for the individual to accomplish on his or her own, the behavior may be seen as indicating that the individual cannot help [them]self.”
“In contrast to dependency-oriented help, autonomy-oriented help is partial and temporary and provides information to the other, for instance, by giving instructions or guidance or providing ideas about how to help oneself. Autonomy-oriented help reflects the helper’s view that, given the appropriate tools, recipients can help themselves (Brickman, 1982). Autonomy-oriented help allows help recipients to retain their independence despite their reliance on the more resourceful helper.”
The distinction is exemplified in the cliché: “Give a man a fish, feed him for a day (dependency-oriented). Teach a man how to fish, feed him for a lifetime (autonomy-oriented).”
This got me thinking about my role as a musician and performer. When performing in front of an audience, my hope is that I am interpreting the music and telling the story in such a way that I am helping the audience solve some sort of problem, or posing a question they may not have asked themselves before. In that context of helping the audience (in whatever ways artists can), what might it look like to choose autonomy-oriented helping over dependency-oriented helping?
A performer who is practicing dependency-oriented helping might believe they have the correct or best interpretation of the music and, in any number of ways, seek to lead the audience to that particular interpretation. It relates to Patsy Rodenburg’s concept of the Third Circle—sending energy outward without leaving a channel open for the energy to be reciprocated from the other direction. Showing, rather than sharing. Imposing ideas, rather than posing questions.
A performer who is practicing autonomy-oriented helping may instead leave ample room for the audience to arrive at their own interpretations of the piece. It’s not to say that the performer shouldn’t develop their own strong opinions about the music, but rather to also hold the presence of Rodenburg’s Second Circle—the synchronous exchange of energy between performer and audience in real time. Practicing curiosity, rather than pursuing certainty.
It’s a subtle thing in the moment, because of course, we’re likely not having an actual dialogue with the audience during the performance. There is a fundamental distinction between the performer and the audience—it is the performer’s job to have an exhaustive understanding and an informed opinion about the work and then to present the work in such a way as to clearly reflect that opinion. Likewise, it is the audience’s job to receive and engage with that particular interpretation in the moment. And yet how much more exciting and alive the experience could be, for all involved, if the interpretation changed, grew, morphed on the spot as a result of the audience in that moment?
And how rewarding it could be for the artist to have their audience leave a performance feeling empowered, galvanized to act in their own way, rather than critiquing the answers that were fed to them. An audience eager to go fishing, rather than stuffed full of fish.
Originally published here on April 16, 2024. Social sharing image by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash.